Sunday, October 10, 2010

Top Ten Facts in George W. Bush's Memoir

George "The Decider" Bush is publishing his memoir, Decision Points, a week after Super Tuesday. It's expected to be the usual Tell-Nothing Presidential memoir packed with spin and rife with omissions. However, advance reviewers have already read Mr. Bush's book and are reporting some surprising disclosures. What are the top ten facts revealed in the 43rd president's memoir?

  • 10) Bush didn't know where the Oval Office was until March 2001.

  • 9) Dick Cheney would send him out for coffee and donuts during Cabinet and energy policy meetings.

  • 8) During an overnight visit at the White House, Saudi Royal family was barely persuaded by Bush to not sleep with his twin daughters.

  • 7) In 2005, had to be talked out of putting a turkey suit on Scooter Libby the day before the presidential turkey pardon.

  • 6) In 2002, ordered Karl Rove to break the leg of a 5 year-old to ensure she wouldn't beat a Republican lobbyist's kid during the White House Easter Egg roll.

  • 5) Once renditioned George Romero to Syria for wanting to cast Laura Bush in the lead of his next zombie movie.

  • 4) Actually witnessed David Addington's failed exorcism in 2006.

  • 3) Early draft of Social Security privatization plan involved slashing prices for cat food and Pampers.

  • 2) Decided to invade Iraq in March of 2003 the night after having a dream in which Jesus told him the Iraqis and not the Romans crucified him.

  • 1) Says on the cover in fine print below the president's name, "...with Jonathan Krohn."
  • 1 comment:

    1. It should sell quite briskly in the fiction category. Maybe humor, too.


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