Thursday, December 30, 2010

The News at a Furtive Glance

Good morning, comrades! Isn't it another gorgeous day in the empire? Let's open up the old newspaper and see what's awaiting us. OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, WE'RE ALL FUCKED, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! OMFG!!!!!!!

Just kidding. It's not really that bad.

It's worse.

I know that he won a Nobel Peace Prize and all. But what I'd like to know is where Obama thinks he'll borrow the moral authority (China, maybe?) to privately confront Pakistan about Taliban militants disappearing in their secret prisons and being executed without judicial review. I mean, really, Barry, this concern trolling is coming from the same exact country that literally wrote the fucking book on black prisons, extraordinary rendition and putting out contracts on its own citizens... without judicial review.

Newspaper wags are saying that the day after Xmas snow storm will be NJ Gov. Chris Christie's Katrina. Nonsense. At least Bush flew overhead a couple of times and actually saw the devastation in New Orleans. The Twitterverse and blogosphere is all in flames over New Jersey's chief executive taking off for Disney World on Sunday, the day the snowstorm hit and paralyzing much of the upper east coast. What makes it look really bad is that New Jersey's Lt. Gov. Kim Guadagno went on vacation at the same exact time. In fact, she couldn't even keep the money at home. She went to Mexico. Meanwhile, the state of emergency had to be called by the state's Senate President, Stephen Sweeney. That's right. The heavy lifting is being figuratively done by a Democratic Senate president, literally by Newark Mayor Cory Booker, another Democrat.

Meanwhile, there's no feedback forthcoming from the Magic Kingdom. America's laziest governor since Sarah Palin has been incommunicado since he left.

Another winner of a Governor, Mississippi strong man Haley Barbour, is trying to get the taste of grits out of his mouth after publicly applauding a KKK wannabe outfit. He suspended the life sentences for two sisters who've been rotting in a Mississippi prison for an armed robbery that netted them $11. The suspension came when Barbour learned that one sister volunteered to donate of her kidneys to her ailing sister. Well, wasn't that nice of Barbour? What brought about the sudden humanity?

Oh, her treatment was costing the state too much money. Gee, Haley, you're all heart.

By the way, the sisters are black. Surprise, surprise.

No comments:

Post a Comment

What is it NOW?